3 years on pt1

It’s been 3 years since I had my amputation and I have come a long way. I have accomplished quite a bit but I am also still working though others.

I realise I didn’t actually make a post about my time at Kingston and Roehampton post op.

Lauren and me travelled to Kingston Hospital the night before my operation, Lauren stayed with me until about 10pm and spent about an hour rubbing my feet and legs. They felt better then they had done in a while, to be honest I had pretty much no pain. So thank you Lauren you are fucking amazing. I cannot explain how appreciative I am, because of you my last hours spent with my wonky feet were pain free.
After a cry and a cuddle Lauren went and I didn't see her again until the morning just before my op.
The operation went well and Mr. W was able to do both legs in one operation. Once it was over I was kept in recovery for longer than hoped as my blood pressure was low and it wasn’t going up. Also I had been telling the nurses there that I was in a lot of pain although I have no recollection of this. The first thing I remember when I woke up was thinking “wiggle your toes” followed by “oh...yeah I don’t have any”. After checking that I definitely didn't have any toes I sat up and I remember feeling happy and relieved that it had finally happened.

My blood pressure went back up the next day. I had a high temperature which wasn’t going down. It turned out that I had a bladder infection so I was kept in a little longer that we had hoped.

A few days after my op I was out of the bed and onto a wheelchair, not able to go anywhere as I had an epidural and catheter in, but I was out of the bed!  Because of the bladder infection, and the worry that the infection could spread to my spine, the epidural was taken out and I was put on morphine. Which was so much better at relieving the pain I had.

Within a few days after the morphine switch over I had my catheter out, and no matter how many times they say it won't hurt it still bloody hurt! I was feeling much chirpier. I was out of my hospital gown and into my own clothes, I was able to get into a wheelchair and move around a bit more freely. Which felt fucking fantastic. After about a week I was able to have my first trip outside, which was awesome. It was a nice sunny and breezy day which made it even better.
I had a few phantom pains, some felt like a itch and some were sharp pains but these came and went very quick. More often I got the feeling that my toes were curled and tightly wrapped so I couldn't move them, I would try to wiggle or uncurl them but to no avail, this was an extremely frustrating feeling and was difficult to get rid of. It didn't hurt, it was just conflicting thoughts of whether this was real or not. I knew I didn't have any toes but fuck it felt so real. It was as if my brain could feel that there were bandages wrapped around the ends of my legs, except my brain hasn't quite worked out that there aren't any feet there. It is a very surreal experience and not one I recommend...

I was meant to be in Kingston for a week but because of the infection I ended up being there for a bit longer, which was a bit of a downer but thankfully it was only for a few more days (on the 18th May) till I left for Roehampton.

I then got transferred over to the Douglas Bader Rehabilitation centre in Queen Mary's Hospital, Roehampton.

When I got to Queen Mary's it was all go. Weekdays it was 8am till 3pm in the gym. Doing core exercises, and general upper and lower body strength exercises, then once I had my prosthetics adding in practising to walk.

I was doing these exercises for a week. And then the day came. The day I had been waiting for...I got my first set of legs!! They weren't particularly comfortable but I had legs and I took my first steps, it felt so fucking good to be standing again. I enjoyed being in the gym, even though I was there from 8 till 3pm 5 times a week. There was a good atmosphere there, it was quite relaxed with a good mix of music and to be honest I had a lot of laughs. Most of the other amputees had a good sense of humour which helped. It all went pretty well, needless to say I had a few down days but after a kick up the ass from the physios I was back on track. Speaking of which they were amazing, all of them. Something that I learnt very quick, was that if I wanted to walk again I needed to work fucking hard for it.

From there I spent most of my time learning how to walk. first in between the parallel bars, for support, then walking with two sticks and then one and finally no sticks. This took a total of about 5 weeks. In which I had many sockets changes, I learnt to walk up and down stairs, I learnt to walk outside on a variety of different surfaces (I even did a bit of gardening).

Thankfully I was able to go home on the weekends, as my flat had already been adapted for wheelchair use. This was a big help as it meant I could spend time at home with my wife and kids, in a more relaxed environment. It also meant that I could spend time in my wheelchair outside of hospital and also getting used to not having legs in the big wide world. This mostly involved working out different ways to slide around on laminate flooring. While at home I had my first big fall. I was trying to get onto my wheelchair from the floor, which I had been doing for a week or so in hospital just fine, and I think I put too much of my weight at the front of the wheelchair which led to the chair tipping and me landing straight onto both my stumps. And fuck me it hurt. I have never felt anything like it. I was close to fainting from the pain but with Lauren to hand with a bit of Oromoph I was all good.

While I was there I went swimming. This was a big thing for me as I used to swim a lot, and it is something I enjoy, but the thought of getting in and out of the pool let alone swimming with no legs was something I wasn't sure about. Honestly it was easier than I expected. Getting in was easy, just had to side poolside and slide in. Getting out was a bit harder but only because I had to lift myself out, but still it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Swimming was a bit more difficult as my stumps are pretty useless at helping to propel me forwards they just kinda splosh around. Also it was hard trying to work out where my centre was to balance my self. I found that if I had my bum to high then I would start to sink which isn't ideal half way down the pool.

At this point I kept my legs with me, I was allowed to use them on my own outside of the gym which was an incredible feeling but also strange. I had spent 5 weeks navigating this hospital at waist height, and now I was walking around and everything seemed small and out of place. Towards the end of my stay I was allowed to ditch the walking sticks and I was walking freely with my prosthetics which felt amazing.
After 6 weeks I walked strutted out of Queen Mary's hospital and I have to say I felt fucking amazing. I was free and I was walking again, with the added bonus of being in a small amount of pain compared to pre amputation.